The Colours of Lolipops

Korea 2009 - Part 1 (photos)

2009-06-24T12:44:00.074+08:00

We had some seafood kimchi soup with octopus!! Huge chewy octopus!!

Seulgi's Uncle & aunty's house yesterday for dinner (23.06.09)

Train

Train railway across the largest river in Korea (Han River)

The 'Digital Town' = many Low Yat Plaza

Yongsan = Digital City

Ship Restaurant - Shabu-Shabu & Buffett

Seul gi's Parents

The inside part of the bbq restaurant

mmm....yummy...

Wasn't aware when this was taken

'Crook crook' tummy grumbling...

Self-grilled Unagi

2kg Unagi = Approximately RM200 CHEAP!!

BBQBBQBBQ!!!

Outdoor Grill Restaurant

Incheon City

Old Aunty Still flexible

Watch Area

Incheon City View

Butt Firming Exercise

Adushi looking at Mr Squirrel who is looking back at him

Fresh water from the mountain is link directly by a pipe line and the red pail is used to drink the water..I used a bottle to refill of course.. 1 mineral water costs 800Won = around Rm2.70

our new handphone...LG

Korean Traditional Clothing..'Hanbok'

The Living area

The kitchen and dining area

The living room

Shop lots are all similar as to this photo

All are either Hyundai or Kia... lols... Daewoo too.. Daewoo is actually kown to us as Chevrolet.. due to some company share, when Daewoon cars are exported out, they must go by the name of Chevrolett..

Part 2 will be continued....

~natalia~

My Birthday Speech

2009-06-18T01:01:00.003+08:00

Thank You to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU who wished me on this memorable day... The final day of being in a Team, The Final Diploma Examination and My Birthday...

I feel nothing but grateful and thankful to have all of you as friends...
We will meet again someday...
Keep In touch... and Take Care...

Once again, Thank You, for remembering me....

~natalia~

p/s: Photos will be uploaded soon:)
I will be away to Korea for a 2weeks holiday...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

The Last Email...

2009-06-16T18:36:00.006+08:00

AAhHHH!!! i feel so emo!!! Read an email..

" Subject : FW:Re:Last Gathering... "

Dear all,

Gd luck in your exam...i know abit to late but better late then never rite.For those doing your training after this, do your best don't let KDU and me down. Ur seniors have already establish a good reputation already. So don't complain to much just try and stay positive. But if u need smbdy to talk to....u know who to call rite...?
For those doing their degree....study harder don't be lazy. it's not as ez as diploma but i know that u all will get thru it. All the best in that.Those that are finished with everything good luck in your future endevours. And wish u all the best in the working life.
It's been really wonderful having u Ladies and Gentlemen on board....but do remember to be more humble next time...don't be to arrogant in what you are doing, always maintain a low profile until u really need to show your true colours. Must learn how to make the first move when the time is rite. Don't be selfish and think only of yourself all the time, learn to think of others as well. Don't always be high
and mighty like you are perfect in every way. Remember that nobody is perfect while they are still breathing, you are only perfect when the day u need to move to the afterlife.
Remember this saying...."There is nothing either Good or Bad, but thinking makes it so".
Do keep in touch and since Soey started the facebook group why don't everyone keep in contact there.
Once again all the best and good luck in your future planing
Signing off as your AA for "IHTM 3 2008" for the last time, and probably my last piece of advice to all,

MR Don

***

Never thought that it has come to an end... January 2008 seems like yesterday...The beginning of a new chapter in life has now come to an end..

My friends...Will now take a new path...a different path from my own...A path leading to different opportunities..
I hope to meet everyone one day... A time many more years down the road... Now, a new chapter will open.. To a better life for all... All the best i wish to all.. The memories of being together as a Team-IHTM3, I will cherish for the rest of my breathing life...

How time flies...

* p/s : Mr Don no longer refers us as Boys and Girls! :D But i like being regarded a 'Girl'... hehe..

~natalia~

4 Friends

2009-06-14T09:11:00.002+08:00

"A memory to remember for the rest of our lives..."

Being together once again, after a very long time has touched me emotionally...
Laughing, playing, talking, gossipping, 'watching'....
was a moment that time will never turn back to..
We started off together, as 2 perfect pairs..
Relationship beyond friendship...a family....
No secrets between us...
Just feelings to share....

Then came complicatedness...
Which broke us apart....
A heartbreaking moment...
Which lasted for a long time....

We missed the times we had,...
We missed the things we shared...
Now we have come back together again...
But the time to part has come once again...
This time...
It is for real....
This time....
We will not be together again...

I will miss you....
My dearest Friends....

Saw Siew Wei, Basil Tan Ji Zhen (which i will still be spending 2 years with), 'Uppa' Yim Jun Woo @ Leo

~natalia~

A Way Out...

2009-06-12T11:39:00.003+08:00

I cant stop thinking...

I cant stop feeling...

I hate this feeling...

This feeling of Revealing..

Revealing whats hurting....

I feel so lost...

I feel so broken...

Shatterred like broken glasses...

Deep down inside...

I dunno what to do..

Whats right, Whats wrong...

What should be done, What should not be done..

What should be said, What should not be said...

Guilt falls all over me...

Yet, I need a break...

A break from everything...

A break from everyone...

A break from the heavy burden and expectations to be uphold...

I wonder if I've made the right choice..

A choice which determines my life....

Is it my own choice, or was it meant to not be a choice...

I wonder....

Now is the opportunity...

For me to let go...

Just for a while...

For me to do what I have longed to do...On my own...

For myself...

But this opportunity is hurting me...

It is causing dissatisfaction...

But it is what i want...

It is for myself...

Not to be with him alone...

But for me to be around people i dont know...

At an unknown place....

Only for me to learn...

What life is about....

But...

It upsets her...

Which Upsets me....

Guilt all over me..

What am I to do??

~a girl behind the mask~

JANUARY 2009 - 1st FEBRUARY 2009

2009-02-05T22:09:00.028+08:00

This is my 1st post for the new year.. Havent had the inspiration to blog yet..lols.. The beginning of 2009 has been not too bad for now.. Ups and Downs,...(Left and Rights???) ok...i'm lame....

Normally, people will start their 1st yearly post with 'Resolutions' which is sooooo boring:S (oops..) So, here, i will present my 1st 2009 blog post with pictures (memories) that have taken place so far from January 2009-1st February 2009...

January 15th 2009 : Mum & Dad's 22nd Wedding Anniversary

Mummy and Daddy's 22nd Wedding Anniversary took place on the 15th of January 2009. They went out for a dinner date of course. lols.. so me and my brothers prepared a mini romantic surprise for their return:D

Mummy & Daddy's 22nd Wedding Anniversary

January 23rd, - Me and Him 100th Day Anniversary

According to jagi, in korea, couples celebrates their 100th day anniversaries as the 1st anniversary. We had class in the morning and we left for a lunch date soon after:) Bangsar Village's Basil Thai Nudle Bar Restaurant was our choice coz they serve our FAVOURITE TOM YAM AND AYAM PANDAN @ Pandan Chicken.

We headed down to 1U for dinner later that day and we had our favourite Korean BBQ Chicken. Seriously, that restaurant ROCKS!!!:D:D:D:D They sell the yummiest chicken and the Deco is so cute,casual and fun.. The prices are affordable too!! and they even have PopCorn Chicken served in a 2 in 1 Paper Cup where the chicken is placed in the upper half of the cup and your soft drink is placed in the lower half and its only RM9.90!!! :D

February 1st - Me and Him : Dinner at Sushi Groove

Sushi Groove is no ordinary sushi restaurant which we normally go to.. Its ambience is relaxing yet modern and Zen. The Sushi served in the menu list was SHOCKING!!!! Took us roughly around 15mins to decide on what to order..ITS LIKE STUDYING FOR AN EXAM!! We were too hungry that we forgot to take photos of the food.. Below is the YUMMY YUMMY Beef roll sushi with melted mozarella and mushroom inside:D *SLurp* :D

Thanks for reading my post!! haha.. Suppose you'll have to wait another 'century' for another new update. lols...

~natalia~

What I Got For Christmas

2008-12-30T23:15:00.013+08:00

Christmas this year was rather normal.. Couldnt celebrate it with my baby...
Celebrated Christmas in 2 different houses this year.. Mum brought us to her 'long time no see' bestfriend's house who also happens to be daddy's fren @ colleague a loooooong time ago..

Her house, i mean, VERY BIG HUGE ENORMOUS house is located in SIEARAMAS (i think its spelt like this) where its like Tropicana, in which you purchase the land, then design and build your own house. The Houses there are like... houses which we can only dream of having..

Mummy's fren's name is Aunt Jessie.. She and her family are such wonderful and friendly people that anyone, any Tom Dick and Harry are welcomed and brought together in all conversations.. Kids, adults, or senior citizens are all treated equally.. We had such great fun.. the Best part was, ' WE had UnLIMITED BOOST'.. Aunt Jessie purchases her WINES and BEERS by the BULKS from the Wholesalers.. Seems there's a wholesaler Lorry which takes orders in bulks from most residence of Sieramas. haha.. Thats coz their just too rich, so all they do is buy, socialize and give gifts(wines). Lols..

Went to Uncle Tony's house then.. SUCH WONDERFUL DELICIOUS LAMB we had.. But, knowing my baby who also loves lamb is not here to eat it with me, The Delicious Lamb tasted simply Ordinary... Nick was having a great time with his friends.. drinking and laughing away till he-my white chicken skinned cousin looked like a ripe red tomato that night.. So happen 3 of his girl-friends are my college mates. 1 currently in the same course but different class, and the other 2 are different courses.. we all meet each other, but we dun even look at each other in college. lols.. anyways, MORE BOOST from Uncle Tony, Uncle Chee Seng and DADDY!! hehe.. i was the only FEMALE who sat with them drinking and tasting different types of wines.. amazing.. simply amazing.. Want a good glass, We just have to invest in them...

Then came "PRESSIE TIME!!!!".... Less presents this year, but, 'Oh Well,'.. As someone told me before, We should be grateful..some people dont even get a thing.. Guess he is right.. Daddy and Mummy has already given me a nice black blouse which i wore on Christmas Day itself,..

More Gifts can be seen Below:-)

Mummy & Daddy's Pressie to Me

Mug From Nick & Koko

Necklace From Nepal Bracelet From East India

~FROM SoMeOne :D ~

~Merry Christmas~

~natalia~

1st Official Post

2008-12-16T17:34:00.023+08:00

hey people,SORRY for the delay of my 'new constructed blog'. Didnt know that there will be people waiting to read this blog. Lols.. Anyways, since this is my 1st Official Post of this 'new look' blog, I shall post about some happy events which has taken place during the past 1 month.

November 25th;
-Last day of exams!! woohoo!! We only had 1 paper which was Housekeeping and guess what, WE WERE ALL (well, i guess all??or maybe just me) So CLUELESS! lols.. anyways, we had a great time after that hanging out at our new hangout spot - Baiduri Mamak (i think dats the name of the mamak) and had Ayam Goreng and Roti Tisu..lols..

November 26th - December 2nd
-Off to Kuantan with my little brother and an 'unexpected' guest - Chung Seul Gi!!! haha.. Surprisingly, my daddy, Mummy (coz daddy said ok) and granny approved of me bringing him along.. Our flight was at 8.10am and we had to be at the airport latest by 7am to check-in. We woke up around 4.30am and left for KL Sentral in which we then took the AirAsia Bus to LCCT at 5.45am. It was a cold morning that day but the bus ride was fun and, the best part was, the bus was full at that time of the day! SHOCKING!! (for me,-the jakun..lols..)

As we arrived, my uncle and aunt brought us for a nice hot bowl of Kuantan Curry Mee..SO SO YUMMY!! seriously... d santan (coconut milk) and kerang (cockles)..so so sedap (delicious)!!!!

Anyways, during the trip, we visited the beach, The monkey park -which they had bears, snacks, birds, RED ASS baboons, and lizards..Its kinda like a free walk-in mini zoo.. And we even ate the famous 'Keropok Basah'. Lucky Seul Gi, Kuantan town now has a new shopping complex with brands such as ;'Big Apple Donuts', New High-Class Parkson, Clarks, The Face Shop and etc..

When mummy came down to Kuantan with abang on the 29th, I was happy coz then she could bring us to the outskirts of Kuantan coz I didnt want to bother granny as she is currently not well. SO, mama brought us inclusing granny n kong kong to Sg. Lembing. There, we took a walk across the hanging bridge and Seul Gi was amused by the Chickens which were actually 'pretty', we also had a look at the remains of the largest underground tin mining mine, a visit to the museum, and we even had some local delicacies - homemade noodles..Seul Gi even had the opportunity to pick up crystals and some tiny bits which he said was 'Gold'??...lucky him..hehe...

The photos below will give you a bit of the picture during our trip back to Kuantan.. :)
p/s: Blurblur Boy @ Seul Gi gained LOADS of weight back there.. (if u noticed;) hahaha....

seul gi and raiyan digging a hole The Boduguards - Granny & Busybody Kakak a.k.a Gangster

Granny taught seul gi how to make recycled decorations Mikey the dog's new best friend
The kitty cat which followed us walk to the beach Mr HappyMan on the hanging bridge The 'pretty' chickenThe beautiful sunset..

we only managed to get this much of the picture coz WE REALIZED WE WENT TO THE WRONG BEACH WHICH ONLY SHOWS SUNRISE AND NOT SUNSET AFTER AN HOUR AND A HALFS' WALK!!

~The End~

~natalia~

Blog Under Construction

2008-11-19T21:33:00.002+08:00

sorry people..if your reading this, means u have come to visit my blog for new updates..(i guess???)
My blog is currently undergoing 'renovation'...This would not take too much of time I hope..

DO visit me here in a couple of days...

I hope to see you guys with my new fresh look...

Stand a Chance to Win a Free handbag

2008-10-07T20:13:00.001+08:00

stand a chance to win a free handbag simply by clicking the link below...

http://www.handbagplanet.com/

choose a bag which u like and wait for the results:)

~natalia~

Friends...

2008-10-01T23:37:00.004+08:00

Friends....
good friends are friends who are willing to put their friendship into jeapordy just to tell d truth to their friends even if it means losing them... n good friends are also people who are willing to accept comments-truth even if it hurts the most...

my conversations with my close friends lately made me smile n laugh even when i was at my bottom most period of time... so i asked Valy how would she describe me as...regards whether it is a negative comment or a positive comment.. and these are bits n pieces of the conversations...

~Chocolate Brownie~ = Monkey Valy
*natalia * = Me

Part 1 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
*thinks hard, takes deep breath*
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
er...u can have a pretty bad temper sometimes
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
for lil lil things tt shouldn't really matter
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
eh...u keep deep shit all to urself
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u don't ever really trust a person (which might be a gud thing, ur point of view)
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
owh, ur lying sux

Part 2 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
hmm...u sometimes disregard others' feelings for ur own ideas
*natalia* says:
meaning?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
owh, n u damn stubborn
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
as in, when u want ur own way, u're determined to get it, dun care how many ppl's toes u step on in the process

Part 3 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
don't think too much of wat i say k?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
tt's another problem of yours
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u think too bloody much
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
waaaay too much

Part 4 :
natalia* says:
so got summore bad habits of mine?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
nope
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
besides whacking
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
me
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
lol
*natalia* says:
heheh
*natalia* says:
oh yea
*natalia* says:
I'VE LOST D WACKING HABBIT ALRD!!
*natalia* says:
RELI!!
*natalia* says:
coz nobody to whack anymore

Part 5 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
jk lar sayang
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
course there are gud points
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
y else would i love u?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
lol
*natalia* says:
hahahha
*natalia* says:
aww..
*natalia* says:
val!!

Part 6 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
anyways, u're a wonderful cook
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i miss ur brownies...

Part 7 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u're a sweet person
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
who cares a lot abt her friends
*natalia* says:
reli??awww....
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
can give ppl diabetes punya

Part 8 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
oh yeah, n u're drop dead gorgeous

natalia* says:
I AM DROP DEAD GORGEOUS??
*natalia* says:
now now there...
*natalia* says:
thts a bit toooooo much....
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
lol
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
er...pengsan gorgeous then?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
coz i'd be damning myself
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i dun wanna die so soon

*natalia* says:
hahahhahaha
*natalia* says:
i m average
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
nada
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
deff not
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u wanna be modest...fine
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u're above average k?

~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i am being honest
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i think u're beautiful
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u dun wanna believe in my eye is it?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i can judge beauty when i see it

this is what we call 'friends'....

~natalia~

reflections,questions, answers??

2008-10-01T21:20:00.003+08:00

so, i think i am longing for my best friends...

i can name you, but whats the point... do u all still visit me 'here'?

life in MY college not only deteriorates the level of english language, it is also a place of loneliness.

so you think you found your best friends yet, it doesnt seem that way..

so you think your surrounded by friends always, yet, that too doesnt seem that way..

when i reminisce the past, i had much more fun then, than the present. i guess as people believe, day by day that passes by, we have more fun being younger rather than being older..

i feel lost...

reflection:

i am surrounded by friends only during class,

i thought i hv best friends, yet, i am not sure,

i thought i am doin well in class, yet it doesnt seem so...

i think i'm always lost...

i think i'm an idiot?? lols..( so honest )

question :

What is my motive?

When are they coming back?

Are they true? or am i stupidly blind?

an idiot?

answers :

They're all studying all over malaysia..i miss them...

I'm not blind.. just so happen i don't have any 'jodoh' i suppose

I'm heading there... the brightest star ever..

an idiot?? i dunno.. maybe at times?

its not anything, i just cant let go...

i'm still dripping droplets of crystals...

though i try to hide under the meteor showers...

you said you'll be there for me....

are you? or do i hv to go searching for you??...

~natalia~

Bukit Tinggi

2008-08-17T17:30:00.009+08:00

Last thursday, after mum picked me up from college, i suggeted to her that we should follow papa to Bukit Tinggi when he goes for his meeting. I just needed time away from College and the City,... Too much has been happening that i feel suffocated and annoyed most of the time..

So, dad agreed happily with my idea and we waited for him till he came to fetch us. I slept during the 45minutes journey and woke up happily to find that we're driving through the hills with its cooling weather and green sceneries.. AND..FINALLY, The Rabbits!! (the main reason i wanted to come)..

Dad dropped me,raiyan and mum at the rabbit park while he went for his meetings. I didnt bring any money with me, so mum paid RM6 for me and Raiyan to enter. Its only RM3 for 1 person, includes rabbit park, deer sanctuary and donkey Range though its all just in the same small tiny area. Lols... Mama bought a packet of Rabbit Food for me and Raiyan to feed the Rabbits with and they loved it! (DUH!) anyways, below are some pictures which were taken there!

The Cutest picture of the Day!

In Love

Blacky!!

Fluffy and Cuddly!! We both look so cute!! We're meant to be...

Adorable...

My Car....I wish..Lols..

~natalia~

Dina's Wedding Experience

2008-08-17T15:44:00.032+08:00

After so long, I'm finally back!! It has been a busy period for me in the 1 month. With Dina's wedding, college assignments, Restaurant managing and everything else!! yet, I'm still gaining weight rather than losing it!!(grins) anyways, Dina's wedding at PWTC went, well, i could say it went pretty much smoothly. Thank god the previous pelamin actually collapsed as the new one, WAS SO SO PRETTY and GRAND!! There were approximately 260 guests that attended the dinner and it was a really fantastic night.

However, there was a little joke-ly incident which happened. So, me, n my brothers shared a table with my other 6 cousins, and so, we had dinner which was so so 'yummy'. then it was time for coffee and tea. So we were talking and laughing at the table when suddenly, a waitress said " EXCUSE ME" so so freaking loudly as if we were old deaf people. We all just kept quiet and stared at her. she just acted normally as if it was nothing and we were trying so so hard not to laugh in front of her. after she left, we teased my cousin,Ijan, saying whether or not he dumped her before. Lols.. And tht incident repeated again when she was about to clean the table. haha..

Ok, cut story short, We were all happy and glad that the 6months of waiting is over and that everyhting went rather smoothly that night. So here are some pictures taken during the night as well as some pictures taken a week after the night at the 2nd wedding lunch at Kuala
Kangsar,Perak.

Akad nikah

Sarung Cincin

The Kasma Baba

Abdul Jalil

Family

Photo

The Zaharudin

Family

The NiGht EveNt

Hand

Possies

Bunga Telur

for

'Merenjis'

King&Queen

of the night

Getting

organized in

the "Melaka"

waiting Room..

Waiting..

waiting...

Finally, the event starts

The Pelamin

The Family

Believe it,

we're all

cousins!

My Family

Kuala Kangsar......(below onwards)..

Romeo

and

Juliette??

Grand Walk-in

with

'Kompang'

Newley

Weds

with Aunts

Newly Weds

with uncles

and cousins

Us,

Cousins!!!

~natalia~

The Story of A Loner...

2008-07-17T17:54:00.002+08:00

Why is it so Dark??

I'm Lost... Left behind...

Why...

Why!?!?

But...

No answer...

"Where is everyone?"
Hah! who am i kidding...
I'm just an illusion..
Who never existed...
Simply a memory...
A memory of dreamer...
A dreamer who dreams...
Dreams of living..
In a world called; - 'Reality'

Friends...??
Do i have 'friends'?
Oh...i forgot...
I have no body..no soul...no existence...

What i do?
I work...
To make a living...
To fulfill my duty as a 'non-existing daughter'..

Where do i live?
In the realm of darkness..
The realm of eternity..
The realm with a neverending road of darkness...
The road of Sorrow...

The colour of my blood...??
I don't bleed... I do not posses a heart..My 'heart' is an icy hard rock shaped as a heart with the colour of darkness, sadness, disappointment...- black..

My existance...??
I will remain invisible..
As i already am...
I am a loner...
Who lives for no one...
But only to be a substitute...

The teenage girl will soon be lost... Never to return.. As the girl she used to be...

~the dream of a disappearing dreamer~

A title with no title...

2008-06-08T20:18:00.003+08:00

hey there again,,..i know..its been quite some time since i last blogged.. hadnt had the inspiration to do so.. To me, writing a blog, is something which needs inspiration, a desire to tell people something..something about life..the past, the present, the future.. and yet, i myself is not able to do so..

why?? even i ask myself this....

I am lost.. I have lost my way in life.. I can no longer see the road i am traveling on.. Where am i heading? What am i to do?

I don't know... I don't know who i am.. what am I? what am i to this world? a meaningless being? Unknown... Though i may disappear from the face of this earth, is there anyone who will even notice?

I feel the emptiness..A feeling i have long forgotten...

Lately, i have been caught up with so much, that i have lost myself, my friends, my life...

Where am i?

I'm here...Physically... Mentally,?? i am lost.. in space..somewhere in a dark dimension.. Far away from reality.. A place with sufferings, pain, anger and complicatedness.. Yet, it is also filled with miracles, coincidence, happiness, joy and love....

But..why don't i feel these happy feelings? why do i feel pain, anger, sufferings, Loneliness??
Do i not deserve to feel a bit of life??

My long lost friends... Lost due to certain regrets in life... Seeing them happy, moving on in life, makes me wonder, why aren't i i their world..what am i to them now? Do i even exist in their world? Am i even a part of their memory? or have i simply been forgotten?

I wish so hard...so be a part of their life...again... but.... i know... it is simply impossible... For miracles does not apply to a meaningless being, such as myself...

I wonder, who do i belong to.. what is my role in life... am i even alive? or is this all just a dream?? a dream of a dreamer.. A dreamer who will never wake up??

It is something which will remain a mystery in life...if i can say,..my life...

~a dream of a dreamer...~
natalia

Shattered

2008-03-11T21:22:00.005+08:00

Feeling and Seeing hurts more than being shattered to millions of pieces....

i dun even know what is this feeling i am feeling, what is it that i see? Is it the feeling of being lonely? Is it the feeling of being broken? Doesnt it all comes to d same?? PAin...SaDnEss...

I guess old habits do die hard.. Its not easy to change..its Easy say than done..
Maybe i am not mature enough... Time passes so fast that there is not even little time for life to be reflected on...

Suppose how time is managed depends on us... How and what our feelings are is how we look at things.. Things may not be as wat it seems.. Yet, if it does, theres nothin much that can be done, Can it?

song which suits the mood : Emmy Rossum - Slow me Down

~natalia~

My Life....

2008-03-02T19:18:00.007+08:00

My past is something i have long gotten over with,..There is no point holding myself back to something which doesnt benefits me and yet makes me a being full of despair. The past is something which i shall never forget as we learn not to repeat our mistakes from the past. I admit, i have been a selfish, heartless and indecisinve person back then. But now, since i have grown, to be mature, i have been brought to the surface of the earth, to see more of the world than i have seen and known..

I may have hurt many in the past and i am sorry for have done so. But i guess being forgiven is something hard to be done after everything that i have done.Some may have released their anger by spreading rumours around or may not want me to be in their lives and not even as a friend.. But, me, having true friends, they know me well to not have done such things.

My new beginning has begun..and it is a new adventure.. an adventure full of obstacles and unknown people.. A journey where i shall be traveling in search of myself.. And on my way up there, i shall be accompanied by friends and family..People who has faith in me,.. People who sees me as who i am, and accepts me for the being i am.

Having people who loves me, people who cares for me, and people who are there for me, i shall move forward.. carrying the past with me as guidance.. My life will be a journey which will only happen once.. And i will not leave it to be wasted down the drain.My life will be an adventure.. An adventure full of surprises, Fun, Laughter, and Love.... And NO ONE, Not even One person shall Take that AWay From Me...Its my Life.. And I shall Decide on How the Story Goes...

~natalia~