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~natalia~

Friends...

Friends....
good friends are friends who are willing to put their friendship into jeapordy just to tell d truth to their friends even if it means losing them... n good friends are also people who are willing to accept comments-truth even if it hurts the most...

my conversations with my close friends lately made me smile n laugh even when i was at my bottom most period of time... so i asked Valy how would she describe me as...regards whether it is a negative comment or a positive comment.. and these are bits n pieces of the conversations...

~Chocolate Brownie~ = Monkey Valy
*natalia * = Me

Part 1 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
*thinks hard, takes deep breath*
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
er...u can have a pretty bad temper sometimes
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
for lil lil things tt shouldn't really matter
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
eh...u keep deep shit all to urself
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u don't ever really trust a person (which might be a gud thing, ur point of view)
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
owh, ur lying sux

Part 2 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
hmm...u sometimes disregard others' feelings for ur own ideas
*natalia* says:
meaning?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
owh, n u damn stubborn
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
as in, when u want ur own way, u're determined to get it, dun care how many ppl's toes u step on in the process

Part 3 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
don't think too much of wat i say k?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
tt's another problem of yours
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u think too bloody much
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
waaaay too much

Part 4 :
natalia* says:
so got summore bad habits of mine?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
nope
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
besides whacking
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
me
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
lol
*natalia* says:
heheh
*natalia* says:
oh yea
*natalia* says:
I'VE LOST D WACKING HABBIT ALRD!!
*natalia* says:
RELI!!
*natalia* says:
coz nobody to whack anymore

Part 5 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
jk lar sayang
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
course there are gud points
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
y else would i love u?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
lol
*natalia* says:
hahahha
*natalia* says:
aww..
*natalia* says:
val!!

Part 6 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
anyways, u're a wonderful cook
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i miss ur brownies...

Part 7 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u're a sweet person
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
who cares a lot abt her friends
*natalia* says:
reli??awww....
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
can give ppl diabetes punya

Part 8 :
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
oh yeah, n u're drop dead gorgeous

natalia* says:
I AM DROP DEAD GORGEOUS??
*natalia* says:
now now there...
*natalia* says:
thts a bit toooooo much....
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
lol
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
er...pengsan gorgeous then?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
coz i'd be damning myself
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i dun wanna die so soon

*natalia* says:
hahahhahaha
*natalia* says:
i m average
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
nada
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
deff not
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u wanna be modest...fine
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u're above average k?

~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i am being honest
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i think u're beautiful
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
u dun wanna believe in my eye is it?
~- Chocolate Brownie -~ says:
i can judge beauty when i see it

this is what we call 'friends'....

~natalia~

reflections,questions, answers??

so, i think i am longing for my best friends...

i can name you, but whats the point... do u all still visit me 'here'?

life in MY college not only deteriorates the level of english language, it is also a place of loneliness.

so you think you found your best friends yet, it doesnt seem that way..

so you think your surrounded by friends always, yet, that too doesnt seem that way..

when i reminisce the past, i had much more fun then, than the present. i guess as people believe, day by day that passes by, we have more fun being younger rather than being older..

i feel lost...

reflection:

i am surrounded by friends only during class,

i thought i hv best friends, yet, i am not sure,

i thought i am doin well in class, yet it doesnt seem so...

i think i'm always lost...

i think i'm an idiot?? lols..( so honest )

question :

What is my motive?

When are they coming back?

Are they true? or am i stupidly blind?

an idiot?

answers :

They're all studying all over malaysia..i miss them...

I'm not blind.. just so happen i don't have any 'jodoh' i suppose

I'm heading there... the brightest star ever..

an idiot?? i dunno.. maybe at times?

its not anything, i just cant let go...

i'm still dripping droplets of crystals...

though i try to hide under the meteor showers...

you said you'll be there for me....

are you? or do i hv to go searching for you??...

~natalia~

Bukit Tinggi

Last thursday, after mum picked me up from college, i suggeted to her that we should follow papa to Bukit Tinggi when he goes for his meeting. I just needed time away from College and the City,... Too much has been happening that i feel suffocated and annoyed most of the time..

So, dad agreed happily with my idea and we waited for him till he came to fetch us. I slept during the 45minutes journey and woke up happily to find that we're driving through the hills with its cooling weather and green sceneries.. AND..FINALLY, The Rabbits!! (the main reason i wanted to come)..

Dad dropped me,raiyan and mum at the rabbit park while he went for his meetings. I didnt bring any money with me, so mum paid RM6 for me and Raiyan to enter. Its only RM3 for 1 person, includes rabbit park, deer sanctuary and donkey Range though its all just in the same small tiny area. Lols... Mama bought a packet of Rabbit Food for me and Raiyan to feed the Rabbits with and they loved it! (DUH!) anyways, below are some pictures which were taken there!

The Cutest picture of the Day!

In Love

Blacky!!

Fluffy and Cuddly!! We both look so cute!! We're meant to be...

Adorable...

My Car....I wish..Lols..

~natalia~

Dina's Wedding Experience

After so long, I'm finally back!! It has been a busy period for me in the 1 month. With Dina's wedding, college assignments, Restaurant managing and everything else!! yet, I'm still gaining weight rather than losing it!!(grins) anyways, Dina's wedding at PWTC went, well, i could say it went pretty much smoothly. Thank god the previous pelamin actually collapsed as the new one, WAS SO SO PRETTY and GRAND!! There were approximately 260 guests that attended the dinner and it was a really fantastic night.


However, there was a little joke-ly incident which happened. So, me, n my brothers shared a table with my other 6 cousins, and so, we had dinner which was so so 'yummy'. then it was time for coffee and tea. So we were talking and laughing at the table when suddenly, a waitress said " EXCUSE ME" so so freaking loudly as if we were old deaf people. We all just kept quiet and stared at her. she just acted normally as if it was nothing and we were trying so so hard not to laugh in front of her. after she left, we teased my cousin,Ijan, saying whether or not he dumped her before. Lols.. And tht incident repeated again when she was about to clean the table. haha..

Ok, cut story short, We were all happy and glad that the 6months of waiting is over and that everyhting went rather smoothly that night. So here are some pictures taken during the night as well as some pictures taken a week after the night at the 2nd wedding lunch at Kuala
Kangsar,Perak.

Akad nikah












Sarung Cincin












The Kasma Baba

&

Abdul Jalil

Family

Photo











The Zaharudin

Family









The NiGht EveNt



Hand

Possies













Bunga Telur

for

'Merenjis'










King&Queen

of the night

Getting

organized in

the "Melaka"

waiting Room..

Waiting..

waiting...










Finally, the event starts


The Pelamin













The Family












Believe it,

we're all

cousins!

My Family

Kuala Kangsar......(below onwards)..


Romeo

and

Juliette??

Grand Walk-in

with

'Kompang'

Newley

Weds

with Aunts

Newly Weds

with uncles

and cousins

Us,

Cousins!!!

~natalia~

The Story of A Loner...

Why is it so Dark??

I'm Lost... Left behind...

Why...

Why!?!?

But...

No answer...



"Where is everyone?"
Hah! who am i kidding...
I'm just an illusion..
Who never existed...
Simply a memory...
A memory of dreamer...
A dreamer who dreams...
Dreams of living..
In a world called; - 'Reality'

Friends...??
Do i have 'friends'?
Oh...i forgot...
I have no body..no soul...no existence...

What i do?
I work...
To make a living...
To fulfill my duty as a 'non-existing daughter'..

Where do i live?
In the realm of darkness..
The realm of eternity..
The realm with a neverending road of darkness...
The road of Sorrow...

The colour of my blood...??
I don't bleed... I do not posses a heart..My 'heart' is an icy hard rock shaped as a heart with the colour of darkness, sadness, disappointment...- black..

My existance...??
I will remain invisible..
As i already am...
I am a loner...
Who lives for no one...
But only to be a substitute...

The teenage girl will soon be lost... Never to return.. As the girl she used to be...

~the dream of a disappearing dreamer~

A title with no title...

hey there again,,..i know..its been quite some time since i last blogged.. hadnt had the inspiration to do so.. To me, writing a blog, is something which needs inspiration, a desire to tell people something..something about life..the past, the present, the future.. and yet, i myself is not able to do so..

why?? even i ask myself this....

I am lost.. I have lost my way in life.. I can no longer see the road i am traveling on.. Where am i heading? What am i to do?

I don't know... I don't know who i am.. what am I? what am i to this world? a meaningless being? Unknown... Though i may disappear from the face of this earth, is there anyone who will even notice?

I feel the emptiness..A feeling i have long forgotten...

Lately, i have been caught up with so much, that i have lost myself, my friends, my life...

Where am i?

I'm here...Physically... Mentally,?? i am lost.. in space..somewhere in a dark dimension.. Far away from reality.. A place with sufferings, pain, anger and complicatedness.. Yet, it is also filled with miracles, coincidence, happiness, joy and love....

But..why don't i feel these happy feelings? why do i feel pain, anger, sufferings, Loneliness??
Do i not deserve to feel a bit of life??

My long lost friends... Lost due to certain regrets in life... Seeing them happy, moving on in life, makes me wonder, why aren't i i their world..what am i to them now? Do i even exist in their world? Am i even a part of their memory? or have i simply been forgotten?

I wish so hard...so be a part of their life...again... but.... i know... it is simply impossible... For miracles does not apply to a meaningless being, such as myself...

I wonder, who do i belong to.. what is my role in life... am i even alive? or is this all just a dream?? a dream of a dreamer.. A dreamer who will never wake up??

It is something which will remain a mystery in life...if i can say,..my life...

~a dream of a dreamer...~
natalia